Breakin' up is Hard Ta Do
by reject187
Summary: Jack breaks up for Sarah for MarySue. What happens when Kloppman takes Sarah to the dance?


"You are such a jerk, Jack!" Sarah screamed, tears flowing down her face, as she uselessly tried to scrub them away. She turned away, looking at the brick wall of her apartment house. _And of course he had to tell me this right after our date_, she complained to herself.

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes. All he did was go out with Mary-Sue. Sarah was just so…pure. A guy had to get action somewhere! He sighed again, then walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist, enveloping her in a hug. "Come on, Sarah. I said I was sorry. It's just sometimes I get tired of waiting." His voice tickled her ear in a way he knew she loved.

Sarah closed her eyes and threw his arms off, turning around to face him. "Well I'm sick of waiting too! We've been going out for three years! You're twenty! I'm…well…three years older! You're STILL a newsboy! When are you gonna grow up and get a job!" She took a deep breath and continued, more calmly. "You said you'd marry me, Jack. You promised. I've been wearing wire around my finger for two years! I've been waiting for you, Jack." She stopped, looked up at him, and slipped the makeshift wire band off her finger. "And I'm sick of it." She slammed it into his open hand.

Jack looked at the ring, crestfallen. Sarah was the only girl he wanted. "Sarah…"

Sarah bit her lip. "No, Jack." She tried to smile, failing miserably, and Jack was forced to watch as a tear meandered down her cheek. "Goodnight," was spoken, through a broken whisper. She disappeared through the door, shutting it behind her.

Jack was left in darkness out on the sidewalk. He crumpled the ring angrily and threw it into the gutter. He forced words out through clenched teeth. "Good. Bye. Sarah."

He turned away, swiping a sleeve across his face angrily. His footsteps echoed through the night darkness as he sought a place of refuge…Mary-Sue's.

- - - - - - - -

Sarah woke up the next morning, stretched…then realized something was wrong. She looked around. No one. Jack wasn't at the window, where he usually was after a fight. Then she checked her finger. A rust stain decorated the appendage. As she realized she would never wear that tarnished band again, she burrowed her face into her pillow to muffle her sobs.

- - - - - - - -

The next day, Sarah woke up. Ignoring her melancholy mood, she got dressed, and helped Mother with breakfast. As she went about making toast, a thought hit her like Hurricane Rita. She quickly kissed her father on the cheek, and headed outside to run errands.

"It might take a little longer, Mama! I have some errands I have to run for myself!" Sarah yelled as she ran out the door.

"Alright! Be home before David, though!" Esther shouted equally as loud as the door slammed shut behind her daughter. Mayer rubbed his ears.

"We live in an apartment, dear. There is no need to yell."

Esther dropped a kiss on his head. "You're just a little irritable today, that's all. Why don't you help me with the ironing?"

Mayer groaned, then screamed in indignation. He'd helped iron all last week, and all it had gotten him was a few burned fingers.

- - - - - - - -

Sarah made her way through the streets after dropping laundry off at several houses and decided to make her rounds before she went to the market. She spotted Blink on the corner, his papes under his arm and another held high, screaming out the headline.

"Sentenced lunatic escaped from state penitentiary! Hey Sarah! Several cops killed!" He continued hawking the headline as Sarah approached, smiling. She grabbed a paper from underneath his arm and read the headline for herself. She turned to page nine.

_Suspected counterfeiter ducks arrest. _

_The suspected felon Sticky-fingers avoided arrest yesterday. Bob Smithouser, a plainclothes cop, almost caught him, and suffered a small cut on his finger from filing paperwork._

Sarah snickered. She grabbed Blink's arm and made him face her. "Hey, can I ask you a favor?"

He shrugged. "Depends. What's da fava?"

She raised her eyebrows and started speaking in a conspirational tone. "Well, Jack and I broke up last night. I wanna get back at him."

Blink grinned. Sarah always came up with daring plans of revenge. "What can I do for ya?"

She stood up andtook a deep breath."Pretend we're dating." She winced.

Blink just stared at her. Sarah opened her eyes.

"What? Is that too much to ask?"

He shook himself. "You do realize your eyebrows are raising into your hairline."

She checked for herself. Indeed, they were. But now she couldn't do anything about it. Her facial muscles cramped. "Ok, ok. I get the point. But can you help me?"

Blink hadn't been paying attention. She had to repeat it several times before he got it. Then he had to think about his answer. She waited fifteen minutes before finally screaming, "Well!"

Blink shrugged. "Sorry, no can do. I have a girl already."

Sarah sighed. "Won't she understand?"

"Well, if we wanted to fool Jack, I just can't drop my girl and go for his old flame, can I? Besides, she's right across the street. Here she comes now."

A sullen, raven-haired, dark-eyed girl came over. She glared at Sarah, before putting her arm around Blink's waist protectively. Blink grinned. "Sarah, meet Ebony."

"Pleased to meet you."

There was no response from the girl. She was still trying to decide if she had to protect her property or not. Finally she tipped her head almost sideways and put a sneer on her face. "Good ta meetcha, Sarah." She spit in her hand and held it out. Sarah, used to it by now, did the same. The girl took on an expression of admiration. "Whaddya come ta Blink for?"

Sarah shrugged. "I just needed a favor. Seems he couldn't help me out." She turned to go, then swiveled back around and addressed Ebony. "Uh, do you happen to know a," she gulped, "Mary-Sue?" She winced, waiting for an answer.

"Well, missy, seems that I do. She's my best friend. We live in the Newsgirls Lodging House together."

Sarah's head spun. Since when was there a GIRL'S lodging house? "Well, uh, thanks then. I'll go see if anyone else can help me." Sarah left just as Ebony attacked Blink with a passionate kiss.

Sarah walked away as quickly as possible, trying to avoid the lonesome feelings that attacked her heart.

Ebony asked Blink, "Why was that girl's eyebrows in her hairline?"

Blink only shrugged.

- - - - - - - -

The next newsie Sarah saw was Bumlets. He was busy trying to attract attention by street dancing, which he was very good at, but no one seemed to be buying it. (lol! Buying it! Ahaha!…ahem.) She interrupted him in the middle of doing the worm.

"Hey! Bumlets!"

Distracted by her voice, he collapsed in the street, landing in a mud puddle. People around him started laughing and throwing money at him. He grimaced, but ran around picking up pennies almost quicker than they fell. He strolled over to Sarah, pockets jingling with change.

"Hey. What can I do for ya?"

Sarah quickly explained the situation. Bumlets shrugged, saying, "I dunno if my girl will go for it."

Sarah's mind did backflips. _Amazing how I hit two newsies in a row with girls._

"You wanna meet her?"

Sarah was dumbfounded. "Umm…uh…why not?"

Bumlets grinned and whistled. In a few moments a short redhead came jogging around the corner, stopping when she saw Sarah standing next to Bumlets. A snarl appeared on her face.

"What are you doing with my boyfriend?"

Sarah wasn't even given a chance to speak when the girl flew at her. Bumlets caught her with her fist inches away from Sarah's nose. She struggled, but calmed quickly. He quickly introduced them. "Sarah, this is Spunky. Spunky, this is Sarah, an old friend of Jack's."

Spunky was set back down on the ground. Sarah quickly asked her if she knew Mary-Sue.

"Yeah. We're friends. We live in the Newsgirl's Lodging House. You do know your eyebrows are three inches up on your forehead?"

Sarah quickly said her thanks and goodbyes and headed around the corner.

- - - - - - - -

It seemed that every newsie Sarah saw had a girlfriend. Racetrack was with Angel. Swifty was with Tricks. Boots had Addy. Even Crutchy had a girlfriend. And she didn't have an arm. Sarah quickly walked away from those two holding hands. She had worked her way around Manhattan. All the newsies did have girlfriends, after all. And all their girlfriends seemed to somehow know Mary-Sue. Right now she was so desperate, she'd take…even Kloppman!

She sat down on a step and sighed, burrowing her face into her hands. Then she heard a familiar voice above her.

"You ok, Sarah?"

- - - - - - - -

She looked up. "Kloppman? What are you doing here?"

He smiled at her. "I seem to recall running the place."

Sarah looked even higher. _Newsboys Lodging House._ _Ah, very smart of me._

"You lookin' for Jack? He's still sellin'."

"Uhmm, no. We broke up last night. And I'm just having a horrible day! Every newsie already has a girlfriend!"

Kloppman thought. "Even Crutchy? Snipes?…Itey?" A nod to each. "Well then, you do have a problem." He thought a little longer. "You know that your eyebrows…"

He was cut off by a growl from Sarah. "I do think I realize that."

"Well, I'm not taken."

She looked up at him. Her thoughts haunted her from a few minutes ago.

_I'd even take Kloppman right now!_

She unconsciously nodded. Kloppman beamed. "Alright then! There's a dance tomorrow night at Irving Hall! I'll see you here tomorrow at…say six?"

Sarah nodded again.

"Alright! See you tomorrow!" And with that he skipped up the stairs like a spry young schoolboy. Sarah watched him go.

"What have I gotten myself into?"

- - - - - - - -

The next day, precisely at six o' one, Sarah showed up at the boarding house in a modest dress. She stepped in, not really noticing the room full of newsies staring at her. Jack was among them. He was still angry with her.

"Hey, Sarah, I'm not takin' ya to the dance. I'm takin' Mary-Sue!"

Sarah didn't even look his way. Her eyes were fixed on the door behind the counter. A second later she wasn't disappointed. Kloppman stepped out in all his finery, and threw a smile at Sarah. He came around the desk and offered his elbow, which she took. As they walked out the door, Kloppman looked over his shoulder and winked at the boys.

The newsies looked after the couple with their jaws hanging wide open. Jack's face was livid with rage. He turned to face his newsies.

"What the heck is goin' on here!"

They shrugged their shoulders unanimously. "What do you mean, Jack?"

"Why were her eyebrows up around her hairline?"

Their eyes widened. He was right. Jack groaned. "Oh man, don't you all get stuck too!" He stormed out the door, headed for Mary-Sue's to pick her up. The newsies looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders unanimously, and tried to massage their foreheads.

No use. Their facial muscles were stuck.

- - - - - - - -

Sarah walked with Kloppman to Irving Hall, her ears listening to his ramblings but her mind shut off to everything but her own thoughts. She was suddenly jerked out of her inner discursive thinking patterns when they stopped in front of Irving Hall.

Kloppman beamed proudly, as if he had built the place with his own two hands. "Well, here we are! You ready to go in?" He continued to give an almost tourguide-like colloquy as they strolled through the lobby into the main hall. "And above, you'll notice the flying buttresses, copied from the early 17th century…" Here Sarah rudely interrupted.

"Excuse me, Kloppman, but how do you know so much about this place?"

Kloppman just looked at her. "My goodness, you're ignorant! Did I not tell you?" He sighed. "I helped build this place. I designed it and worked alongside the laborers with my own two hands." Sarah started to think how one could work without his own hands, but was interrupted again. "And call me Miles."

Woah! On first-name basis with the seventy-year-old man who ran a newsboys lodging house? One who had never revealed his real first name? _This is just too crazy to take in!_

As they gained the dance floor, they noticed they were one of the first couples there. Actually, they were the only couple there. Medda hadn't even entered the establishment yet. All the same, Kloppman took her in his arms and tried to tango. It wasn't exactly working.

"Ouch!"

"Hey, that was my foot!"

They both equally sucked at dancing, so they decided to wait for the music…and everyone else…sitting down instead.

As they sat and talked at one of the many tables on the side, more people trickled in. Soon the hall was full of chattering and laughing. Sarah started to get a headache. But Jack still hadn't shown up. So she stayed rooted to her spot, her eyes planted on the door, hardly listening to a word Kloppman…er, Miles…was saying.

"Sarah? Sarah!" Sarah was shaken out of her trance and looked over to the voice. It was Kloppman. "You're not listening to a word I'm saying." Sarah just looked at him blankly. "I was wondering if it was ok if I didn't dance with you. These old joints are a bit stiff." Sarah nodded.

"Sure, sure. That's fine." She went back to watching the doors. A few seconds later, Jack strutted in, acting like he owned the world. And on his arm was a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty with a smug look on her face.

She scanned the room, and soon her eyes landed on Sarah, still seated next to Kloppman. The blonde's eyes narrowed, and she excused herself to Jack. Sarah watched with impending dread as she watched the girl make her way across the dance floor towards her. The eyes of all the newsies followed her, eyebrows touching hairlines like the end of the world. Their respective girlfriends slapped them, almost simultaneously, sounding like a thunderclap in the crowded area. Which was kind of hard for Crutchy's girl, since if she took her hand off him to slap him, he started after the other girl. There was a small riot as Pimbly chased Crutchy through the crowd. But Sarah's eyes were only on the girl she assumed was Mary-Sue.

The girl approached.

"Kloppman! What are you doing here!"

He stuttered. "Nuttin', Mary. Jist brought Sarah here."

She yelled at him, spittle compiling on his face and her chin. "My restraining order was up two months ago! How dare you file one against me!"

Sarah watched the exchange with some interest, but quickly got up and moved across the room. Jack silently watched her as she wove her way to the entrance. He hastily moved to follow after her.

"And of all the slimy, dreadful, nasty, disgusting, worm-faced…"

- - - - - - - -

"Sarah?"

She turned from facing the wall, her head leaning against the cool concrete. "What?" Her voice was sharp as a knife.

Jack backed up a step and put his hands in front of him. "I was jist gonna say I was sorry. Don't gotta blow up at me."

She glared at him. "I think I kinda have a right."

He sheepishly shoved his hands in his pockets. "'Spose ya do."

Silence ensued.

"You…you're happy with her?"

"Only if you're happy with Kloppman."

Sarah burst out laughing. "Yeah. It's more scary than happy."

Jack's voice took on a tender tone. "I realized last night…ya know…that…well…" he ran a hand through his hair, "that the only one I really want is…ya know…you." He looked up.

Her eyes were shining.

He slipped something from his pocket. "Here. To replace the old one."

He slipped a solid silver band around her finger. She stared at it with adoring eyes. He turned and leaned against the wall, facing the street. He spoke without looking at her.

"Railyards are hiring. I interviewed yesterday."

She glanced up at him. "Really?"

He smiled at her. "Really really."

She threw her arms around him and they were locked in a kiss.

Inside, the same was happening to Mary-Sue and Kloppman.

- - - - - - - -

"…I now pronounce you man and wife. Jack, you may kiss the bride."

Jack gently lifted Sarah's veil. Suddenly a scream echoed through the church.

"AAAAAAAA! AAAAA!"

Jack and Sarah looked to the back. "Kloppman? What's wrong?"

He fell to his knees in front of the wedded couple. "It's her! She's got me!"

After him came a floating, ghostly figure with a rolling pin. She started beating Kloppman. "Miles! I told you not to cheat on me, you rat!"

He whimpered. "You're dead. It's not cheating when you're dead!"

"Never go out again!"

He shook. "I promise."

She grabbed his hand and dragged him back up the aisle.

Jack and Sarah looked at each other. As they kissed, the room filled with applause. They turned to their friends, all clapping, their eyebrows touching their hairlines.

Everyone was smiling.

- - - - - - - -

Ha. Ha ha ha. The end! I decided we needed a story in which Jack actually gets Sarah. So here it is. Love it? Hate it? Call 1-800-I-DON'T-CARE. Sorry for all you smitten with Jack. Ta ta! --rj


End file.
